Quotes from the 'Corps

• "I like saggy breasts." (Mark)
• "This cannon's been in one too many wars." (John Powanda, age 78)
• "Rebecca, Jane and I are shacking up." (Powanda, during a tech session, on another 78 year old trainee)
• "Am I not one of the girls?" (Mark)
• "I was trying some new positions [in the back of the bus]." (Zabel, age 73, on the way back from Taroudant during our field trip). "Oh. I usually like having someone else around when I do that." (Michèle).
• "I'm wearing nylon panties." (Jane, age 78)
• "Was she mentally retarded?" (Jane) "Was she SBD?" (Becca)
• "She came that way." (Jeff Martini on weird Wendy)
• "I can entertain myself." (Mark)
• "Hep B on the side." (Erinn, describing how she likes her henna done)
• "I have no doubt." (Mark, on whether or not he could model)
• "Ding! Becca's done!" (Erinn)
• "You had a real chance..." (what a random moroccan said to Becca after giving up the chase of following her on the street for, like, 5 minutes)
• "It's always the old people without their pants on." (Angela)
• "She's a 14-carat asshole." (John Powanda)
• "There's more to just laughs to John Powanda." (John)
• "John, what's my name?" (Julia) "It's 'broad', isn't it?" (John)
• "It pays to advertise." (John Powanda, after walking through the hotel in Marrakech after his shower with only his tidy-whities on)
• "It's not a toilet, John." (Mark to Powanda after he woke up in the middle of the night to tinkling in the bidet)
• "I've always attracted attractive men... even in Yugoslavia!" (Zabel)
• "Jen told Chafiq she needed to go to Azrou for her mental health." (Erinn) "More like her vaginal health." (Becca)
• After catcalling and whistling to men on the street from the hotel room: "I don't want him harassing me." (Erinn) "You were just harassing him!" (Becca)
• "I don't care what anyone says: old people are ugly!" (Michèle)
• "And where are we sleeping for our site visits?" (Angela) "With your moroccan counterpart." (Lisa, SBD tech coordinator)
• "You're not getting paid your value!" (Zabel, visibly distraught) "Well, I never have been." (Lee, very calm)
• "And you've got a lot to work with!" (Zabel, on Becca's breast size)
• "I don't give a damn." (usually calm Xerses' response after being picked on over his obsession with reading guide books 24/7)
• "Ounti zweeeeeeeeena!" translation: "you're pretty" (scary, high shop owner to Becca while trying to purchase a bowl)
• "I pee facing the squat." (Kate)
• "Dental Dams? What the f*ck; that's like buying ice cream and eating it with the wrapper on." (Paul)
• "He's an old bitty!" (Erinn, on Xerses and his gossiping)
• "You look like a bottle of syrup [Mrs. Butterworth]." (Paul, describing how Becca looked in a dress she got from her host sister)
• "Don't tell me you're sending me there to cut costs!" (Angela, eyes popping out of head and rolling on floor)
• "And then when they locked us in the room for the night..." (Paul, describing the first night spent with his new host family)
• "Uh.... Wind it back..." (Bill Hoover, complete with gesture, trying to explain something to Zabel)
• "Get your boobs off my back." (Paul, to Becca, after she fell against him on the f*cked up bus ride back from Barbara's)
• [3:30 in the morning in Asilah]"That cricket is going down!" (Robin, on a mission before hunting it down and killing it)
• "Hair big like sheep." (translation of what Tim's host family said about his hair)
• "Your hair is getting in the way of learning the language." (another translation from Tim's family)
• "I laid out a big fart and stood up." (Tim, on the bathroom at the American Club)
• "It's like being on the dole." (Eliot, on PC)
• "You guys [SBD Sector] are like a geriatrics ward; it smells so bad nobody wants to come down." (Eliot)
• "Why sleep now? You can sleep all you want the next 2 years!" (Tim, on the last night of stage)
• "I only eat fruit and I have no eyelashes..." (Becca, describing another PCV)
• [Erinn buys some of those Sablé cookies, opens up the package and hands Becca a cookie. Becca takes the cookie and just stares at it...]"Is that YARN???!!" (Erinn, referring to a piece of yarn BAKED into the cookie) (Becca, tossing it aside,)"Yeah, just so you know..."
• "What am I GRABBING?" (Liz, volunteer about to COS, unknowingly grabbing Michael's package)
• "Did you hear about Gibran's package?" (Becca) "His... package?" (Erinn)
• "You gotta live your life." (Mark... this one really isn't all that funny, except that he likes to say it 24/7)
• "I couldn't keep the momentum up!" (Michael)
• "That horse has Levis on its butt!" (Erinn)
• [After hearing the doorknob turn back and forth on the bathroom door for several mintues]"Vivek, are you trying to get out?" (Becca)
• [on Naked Twister]"We're talking Comic Relief if I take my clothes off..." (Lee)
• "He does one hell of a job with that hand." (Tresby, on Brett)
• "And then there's Megan's Fisher Price toilet..." (Vivek) "I was cold when I sat down." (Stevie)
• "He [Lahcen] and Abdelghanni switch off positions." (Vivek)
• "Who's gonna win, Gore or Bush?" (Becca) "Bush." (Erinn) "Oh, f*ck." (Lea)
• "I will sign a waiver that says I asked for f*cked up hair. I want f*cked up!" (Lea)
• "I ate too much candy last night [the Halloween party]." (Tresby)
• "You look like you need some cereal." (Paul, to Xerxes, who had just woken up and still had his matching plaid flannel pajama set and disheveled hair)
• "Can you imagine having an anal cavity search?" (Erinn)
• "I don't stick my hand up my ass... unless I'm in a cafe." (Vivek)
• "What does my hair look like?" (Erinn) "You haven't washed it for a week, what do you think it looks like?" (Becca) "Whatever, Greasy." (Erinn)
• "That's pretty sick, Lizz." (Nathan, commenting on how Lizz frequently calls him "Matthew," her brother's name, and vice-versa)
• "That's okay. Nathan can screw me pretty easily." (Lizz, during a game of hearts)
• "You should have seen the look on his [Tresby's] face when I accidentally threw a rock at him!" (Michael Magalang)
• "Am I made of marshmellows?" (Jen, during the Name Game)
• "I am the perfect man." (Michael Melick, on his Aryan looks)
• "Well, Bill Hoover's old, Wright is dirty, and Xerxes I like, but not in that way..." (Michael Melick, during a game of Who'd You Rather...)
• "We [Becca and Vivek] took turns straddling it." (Becca, on Michael Magalang's heater)
• "I made money off my circumcision." (Vivek)
• "I want to get my counterpart in a cafe." (Becca)
• "I can't donate [blood]. I'm too small." (Jake)
• "F*ckin, A, yek?" (Becca, at the door of the cyber, to two boys when she realized it was closed)
• "That's annoying." (Becca, upon hearing Vivek demonstrate the alarm on the carbon monoxide detector)
• "I mean, how many of you are walking around with nuts in your pockets?" (Dr. Dick)
• "Dude, you can just look at him and know he brews his own!" (Becca, on whether or not Cory Nash brews his own beer)
• "You're STUPID!!!" (Andrew, to the Moroccan female gym coach who called him a racist... all she wanted to do was play ball for a while...)
• "It's not news, but it sure is weak!" (Andrew, on "Newsweek")
• "I think it would be funny if we all did a field termination and moved into an apartment across from the PC office in Rabat." (Eliot)
• "What are they, travel agents?" (Eliot, on Barbara's views on vacation time being for travel within Morocco and not outside)
• "You're an optimistic mother f*cker." (André to Cory, during a VSN session)
• "Oh, hey! It's President's Day! Need a group hug for that!" (Jay)
• "Sitting in alone in your apartment is work." (Jay)
• "...I've got one testicle, my hair's falling out, and I WANT MONEY!!" (Jay, on what you have to do to get med vouchers from PC)
• "I can't believe how good some peoples' memories are here. I mean, I know we stand out..." (Erinn) "Just a little." (Becca)
• "Lot's of PC people have been sleeping with each other lately." (Xerses)
• "Hey, guy!!!!" (Barbara to Xerses)
• "What's 'Chi-Chi's'?" (Xerses)
• "Whatever. I'm drunk." (Stevie, after trying to convince others of his innocence during Mafia)
• "You can't put a quarter in me and get me to perform." (Stevie)
• "I don't know where to put it [on the sexual harassment continuum]. It's not like they said, "Suck my dick..." (Dave, Figuig)
• "I'm too old for this." (John Shirk)
• "They [moroccan women] have man hands here." (Erinn)
• [on Xerses ksar house]"It's not rustic." "Rustic? You sh*t through the floor!" (Mark)
• [eating dinner at IST]"Are you content with the size of your meat?" (Becca) "Content? Always." (Mark)
• "I feel like I'm in the ghetto school district." (Lea, after finding out thebooks PC was giving to us weren't ours to keep and that we couldn't write in hem.)
• "Oh, he didn't..." (Mark, seeing John's new business cards: "Corps de la Paix des Etas-Unis, John N Powanda A.KA, El Picaro, MOUTATAWIE HALYET SALAM, Petite Entreprise, Tetouan-Maroc")
• "Oh...[evil laugh]... he's exporting!" (John Powanda, during an export session at IST)
• "... Joe Bled..." (Paul)
• "Welcome to Dick!" (Barbara)
• "Don't quote me... she's kinda... trailor trash." (Michèle)
• "I mean thse ones are almost as good [as ones in the US] since they get laid daily." (Michèle, on moroccan eggs)
• "Tongue is the best part of Head." (Becca, on sheep)
• "How's your dog?" (Becca) "Dead." (Vivek)
• "What was his [Vivek's] dog's name?" (Dinika) "Scooter." (Becca, reading the label off the candy wrapper Jay held up for her at the same moment.)
• "Make yourself at home... the roof's upstairs..." (Vivek)
• "Ah, you've been in PC too long to blame it on the alcohol." (Paul to Erin Bolton)
• "They're worse than dogs." (Michèle, on Moroccan men)
• "I think he [Dave Matthews]'d be a pretty good hanging-out buddy." (Tresby)
• "Barbara'd be a tiger in the sack." (male PCV)
• "I'm going on a crash diet!" (Rick)
• "He's corn-fed." (Jeff)
• "She's a teen wolf." (Jeff, on a female PCV with really hairy legs)
• "Blesh you." (Erinn, goofing up her s's again)
• "When you weigh 300 lbs, you need every toe you've got." (Becca's dad, on an overweight aunt who had broken a toe)
• "He's a f*ck!" (Becca's dad, on her délégué)
• "Mom spreads her legs like anyone's business." (Becca's dad, on how her mom kept accidentally exposing herself in Morocco)
• "That woman's not going anywhere until she learns how to dress better." (Jay, on Babs)
• "You can get rid of those cds." (Eliot, after seeing Becca's Billy Ray Cyrus - hey, it was my first concert - cd)
• "At least it doesn't have fecal matter in it." (Becca, on Khenifra water)
• "It's a step down from Khenifra." (Mike Magalang, on Bzou)
• "I pant." (Vivek, on sounds he makes during sex)
• "I feel so used!" (male PCV after an orgy... I won't put any names down here...)
• "Stevie's been waiting a year!" (Mike Magalang, on how Stevie can't wait for the arrival of the new group of stage females.)
• "Do they have strip poker in Vegas?" (Becca) "I doubt it. No one wants to see old people taking off their clothes." (Nathan)
• "John and I are up there counting monkeys..." (Robert, at Regional Meeting)
• "I'm a Harry Virgin." (Becca, talking about finally reading the Harry Potter series)
• "He's an Indian Tom Jones." (Eliot, on Xerses)
• "I was grabbing my ass the other day, and I noticed how tight it was." (Becca)
• "Now this is service... except for that hair." (Eliot, commenting on the room-service cafe au lait)
• "Eunuchs could sell their testicles." (Becca)
• Americans never have to bring their culture; it's always there." (Eliot, eating popcorn while sitting in a movie theater in Marrakech, waiting to see "Ocean's 11")
• "We're at 22 cents." (Becca, commenting on the taxi meter)
• "He was worse than a science geek [in college] since he didn't even get good grades!" (Lizz, on Nathan)
• "Doucement, Touareg, doucement." (Xerses, to shopkeeper in Ait Ben Hadou)
• "Play it cool, guys." (Xerses)
• "Michael Downs is, like, wicker or something." (Xerses, during our conversation on various PCVs' religions)
• "It's kind of exciting having a nomad in the car." (Xerses, in the grand taxi between Zagora and M'Hamid)
• "Duck-duck-duck-duck!" (Brett to Xerses and Robin while we kept passing the PC van in the South)
• "Why do you want me to dance for you? My name's not Ricardo." (Eliot)
• "That's not the door, it's the bouncer." (Eliot)
• "Is this the same reason why you're interested in Playboy?" [nod from Becca] "I think I've figured you out - you're a perv." (Eliot)
• "See you in heaven, naked... 'cause we're gonna be naked!" (Nabil)
• "I walked into the bathroom, and the cockroach was humping my toothbrush. And I said, 'I'll deal with you in the morning.'" (Maria)